Why do Depressed people say they feel alone when I have told them I am here for them?
When someone is depressed, that Depression will never go away. They will have times that they are just fine and are happy to a degree. However, when they are having their "low" days, they are in a world that consists of only him/her and his/her mind. It's a surreal place, almost out of body like.
That is why you can't seem to get through to us. Why we feel lonely, even though we know you are there it's as if you are standing on the other side of the Grand Canyon were you are no use to me, who is here and needs help!
I knew I had my family and that I wasn't alone, but when I was throat deep in Depression, there was no one. I know that no one could help me when I was in that mental and emotional state, hence I was alone.
Somehow deep within me I knew that they couldn't help, that they didn't have the answers. Once I found that out, I also found out that the answers were in me! Before I knew that though, we blame everything on those around us. That then makes us feel let down by the people who supposedly say they are here for us. And a Depressed person can go around for years blaming and feeling betrayed, but forgive them, they haven't found out yet that they are the key!
So when you ask that person how you can help and they give you some smart ass remark...they know deep within themselves that you can't help, but they also aren't aware that they are the answer!
Thought for the day:
You have the solution to all your problems, they are locked up deep inside you (in fact they are causing you problems in hopes that you will let them out so they can do their job)!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Reading this blog has filled my emotions to the top....So much came back to me....and being raised in the family I was...depression was never discussed nor did we even know what it was....so for the record "I am not a depressed person"...yet all these emotions and coping skills were kicking into high gear married to someone with depression....Many years I felt all alone....although raising my family having a husband and being involved with my own parents, having my brothers and sisters and having brothers & sisters in the congregation...I was all alone. Sometimes I would just sit in the parking lot of Wal-mart and just cry for I felt was nothing!!! And every morning that my husband would take me to work was all but delightful...by the time I got to work I was all shook up and crying...but need to get my composure before I walked in that door to work. I would always tell him that I would be better off trying to hitch a ride with a neighbor and that way I wouldn't be all emotional...Then he thought maybe there was something going on with me and the neighbors....go figure. Maybe that is why I liked to ride my bike to work!!! No worries. Solution Crazy thing is I would always looked forward to coming home again to be with my family...then because he was miserable, so was I. How does that happen?
ReplyDeleteI even got to the point when my kids were very young that if I just drove off the cliff I would save my kids and me from having to live such an awful life....I could understand how Mothers took the lives of their own children, then their own....I know it is not right but I understood. It does seem like such awful thoughts but how else were going to survive???? Again "I'm not a depressed person" so where did these awful thoughts come from???? Thank you for blogging!
No one want to live unhappy, so your thought are natural and actually loving in the sense that you didn't even want your children to be unhappy. I believe you that you are not a "depressed" person!
ReplyDeleteSome do mistake having the desire to no longer live after some great big fail, to be depression.
You lost your job...you do not have depression. You lost your marriage(for whatever reason)...you do not have depression. You lost your house...you do not have depression. You lost a loved one...you do not have depression. You lost a few years in a bad relationship...you do not have depression!
Doctors are having a field day with all of us having all these losses!!!
That's just it, you lost something and dealing with that loss can make you loose your mind!! You don't have depression juts because you don't know how to cope with a loss. Sorry to break it to you but that's the truth people.
People who DO have Depression don't get it because they lost something, although, a loss might provoke an episode or a "low". We have Depression at all times. In fact we can have everything and still be depressed.
So to answer your question, those thoughts come from a normal person just trying to cope and trying to get through a storm in one piece! And I'm sure the storm is over and you did great!