The concept for improving ones Depression is quite simple. In fact, it's all simple, we all just have a tendency to complicate things! I can talk hours and hours about certain methods and the logic behind it all, but when it comes down to it...it is simple.
Depression is being in a state of mind and heart that is temporarily weak. Like a weak immune system. If one has a weak immune system, the smallest sneeze or cough from across the room can infect you easily. You will be so much more vulnerable with your weak immune system.
See...that was simple to understand right!
Having Depression is the same. Our immunity to negativity, whether born from our own minds or the world around us, is so very weak and sensitive that if you were to tel us to go jump off a bridge....we would! Where as if you told that to any other person, they might frown at you and walk the other way.
We just need help to strengthen our mental and emotional immune systems so that way we are less prone to the sickness.
Just like if you have a severe cold, you start taking all kinds of vitamins and medicine, we need to do the same. When we are in a "low" we need to do all kinds of things that give us strength to survive it. Or even better, we can do thing when we are not in a "low"(sick), and start doing things to strengthen our emotional and mental immune systems! This way we have a better chance to avoid some of the "lows" or make the duration shorter and less severe!
So to boost our mental/emotional immune systems we need to target the place that starts it all: Our Mind
If we can learn how to change the first thought about anything and everything, it would be the most productive way to strengthen ourselves.
When you mess up on something, instead of your first thought being something like "I never do anything right" "I'm so stupid" "I fail at everything", and so on, you need to train your brain to make your first thought be positive.
Next time you mess up on something, make you first thought be "Well I guess I just learned one way how not to do something!" "I bet I can get it right this next time!" "Well, at least I have done my best!"
Another example: If someone insults you, instead of your first thought being "How did they know?" "See, I'm not worth anything" "It must be true, otherwise, why would they say that!"
Your new way of thinking will be: "Wow, that person must be having a bad day!" "The simple act of insulting a person automatically makes you the bad person!" "I know I'm great, I don't need you to tell me what you think I am or am not!"
If we can put this small change into practice every time we have a thought that even leans towards being negative, then that is half the battle right there friends!!
Thought for the day:
Negative thoughts bring negative feelings, change your thoughts to positive ones and you'll feel better in no time!(Told you it was simple :-) )
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
So how does one truly forgive?
The Bible says that God doesn't keep count of our sins. That He understands that we are human and that we are not perfect. In fact He instructs us to forgive freely.
We are not God, so how is this going to work for us?
It's not about saying the words "I forgive you", it's about your mindset and you heart condition when you say you forgive someone!
You are not the one who screwed up, so why do you hurt so much? Well you shouldn't be in pain. You need to realize that what was done to you is a reflection of the other person, yes it may have affected you, but really is was all about the other person.
If you know who you are and what you are worth, anything anyone does or says that could affect you most likely will have a very little affect on you! Why?
If someone were to tell you that that you a dumb, you know you are not! If someone were to tell you that you will never amount to nothing, you know that you already are something!
Your self-esteem is key to learning how to forgive, because when you can understand that you are worth so much, you realize that they have just lost something...not that you just lost something!
We will use cheating at an example:
You find out that you have been cheated on. Feelings of rage, betrayal, and self doubt start to cloud your day. You think "Was I not good enough?" "What did I do wrong?", "But I gave you everything"
You always want to see who it was with to see if they are better looking than you. You cry, you scream, you might even act out.
Stop. It isn't you. You are fine. You did everything you could have and if they did that it was because they are not worth as much as you. They just became the worlds greatest idiot for losing you! You were faithful, you were true, you gave yourself to them and they threw your gift away!
Guess what, they just let you know that there is something better for you!!! Yeah, because by cheating they just ended it, so now you can go and be on your way to finding something great!
Now if you stay, that's another story.
Be prepared for what is to come. Trust will have been tossed out the window and you both will have to start out fresh. Also, this does not give you power to hold this error over their head. We only have to pay for our mistakes once. You are no one to make a person suffer for their mistakes over and over. You don't like to have to repeat yourself so why should they have to.
If you know you are not capable of not reproaching that person, you know that you can't get over what was done, then you have no business remaining in that relationship. That relationship will be crap until you can.
When I say that you need to give yourself time after you forgive someone, what I mean is that it's ok to forgive them right away, but you need to see how your life is now changed from whatever it was that was done. Would it better for you to keep that relationship, dilute it, or end it?
To forgive does not mean to push the rewind button. You don't go back to before. You can forgive and choose to keep your distance. That would be protecting yourself. That is smart.
You see this add for what is supposedly the best shampoo ever. You buy it. You use it for a while. Then one day you notice that you are loosing a lot of hair. You stop using it. You got ripped off and your hair is damaged. No, go ahead....keep buying it!
To forgive doesn't mean that you have to settle for crap.
Forget that person in the sense that now they just moved to the outside of your circle! And that is ok. They moved themselves to that position. It's sad but you are the most important thing in your life and those who are not willing to see you succeed need to be put at your feet so that you can climb to the top!
Thought for the day:
The saying should be "Forgive and forget you!". Yeah, that sounds good to me! Why not, they forgot you when they did what they did.....return the favor!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
The Bible says that God doesn't keep count of our sins. That He understands that we are human and that we are not perfect. In fact He instructs us to forgive freely.
We are not God, so how is this going to work for us?
It's not about saying the words "I forgive you", it's about your mindset and you heart condition when you say you forgive someone!
You are not the one who screwed up, so why do you hurt so much? Well you shouldn't be in pain. You need to realize that what was done to you is a reflection of the other person, yes it may have affected you, but really is was all about the other person.
If you know who you are and what you are worth, anything anyone does or says that could affect you most likely will have a very little affect on you! Why?
If someone were to tell you that that you a dumb, you know you are not! If someone were to tell you that you will never amount to nothing, you know that you already are something!
Your self-esteem is key to learning how to forgive, because when you can understand that you are worth so much, you realize that they have just lost something...not that you just lost something!
We will use cheating at an example:
You find out that you have been cheated on. Feelings of rage, betrayal, and self doubt start to cloud your day. You think "Was I not good enough?" "What did I do wrong?", "But I gave you everything"
You always want to see who it was with to see if they are better looking than you. You cry, you scream, you might even act out.
Stop. It isn't you. You are fine. You did everything you could have and if they did that it was because they are not worth as much as you. They just became the worlds greatest idiot for losing you! You were faithful, you were true, you gave yourself to them and they threw your gift away!
Guess what, they just let you know that there is something better for you!!! Yeah, because by cheating they just ended it, so now you can go and be on your way to finding something great!
Now if you stay, that's another story.
Be prepared for what is to come. Trust will have been tossed out the window and you both will have to start out fresh. Also, this does not give you power to hold this error over their head. We only have to pay for our mistakes once. You are no one to make a person suffer for their mistakes over and over. You don't like to have to repeat yourself so why should they have to.
If you know you are not capable of not reproaching that person, you know that you can't get over what was done, then you have no business remaining in that relationship. That relationship will be crap until you can.
When I say that you need to give yourself time after you forgive someone, what I mean is that it's ok to forgive them right away, but you need to see how your life is now changed from whatever it was that was done. Would it better for you to keep that relationship, dilute it, or end it?
To forgive does not mean to push the rewind button. You don't go back to before. You can forgive and choose to keep your distance. That would be protecting yourself. That is smart.
You see this add for what is supposedly the best shampoo ever. You buy it. You use it for a while. Then one day you notice that you are loosing a lot of hair. You stop using it. You got ripped off and your hair is damaged. No, go ahead....keep buying it!
To forgive doesn't mean that you have to settle for crap.
Forget that person in the sense that now they just moved to the outside of your circle! And that is ok. They moved themselves to that position. It's sad but you are the most important thing in your life and those who are not willing to see you succeed need to be put at your feet so that you can climb to the top!
Thought for the day:
The saying should be "Forgive and forget you!". Yeah, that sounds good to me! Why not, they forgot you when they did what they did.....return the favor!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Forgiving
It can be both helpful and on the other hand it can be harmful to yourself and your relationships. So it is something that you have to analyze for yourself. Depends on the situation and what was "forgiven"
If you are stuck on old stuff that hurts when you remember it, you need to get over it. There is no such thing as "forgive & forget" so don't try. But you can forgive!
The act of forgiveness is easy. It's the pain of deception, betrayal and your own weakness that is hard to get over.
We tend to think that when we forgive that we have to go right back to how things where. That's the first mistake. Nothing will ever be the same. You can't take the wrinkles out of a crumpled piece of paper. Try it if you don't believe me!
The other mistake is that after an issue happens that requires forgiveness, the betrayed and the betrayer are not given time to recover.
The betrayer needs to be truly sorry for his/her actions that led to the hurt. You can't just say sorry because you don't want to loose that relationship. You need to accept the responsibility for what you have done no matter the degree of hurt that was done. Know that you have just lost something very dear to any relationship. Besides asking for forgiveness( if you even are sorry), you need to for give yourself. That doesn't mean that just because you forgive yourself, that everything goes back to normal. Chances are that the one who said they forgive, doesn't know the true meaning of forgiveness.
The betrayed need to realize that you don't have to try to make things they were before. They won't be no matter how hard you try to let it be and how hard the betrayer tries to regain what was lost. You need to forgive, but with that you need to give yourself time to heal and get over whatever was done. If you don't distance yourself from that person for a bit, you never let that wound heal. You are just putting a band aid over it.
What happens when you get burned? You stay away form the stove for a while, don't you! You might even take showers with water a little cooler just so that burn doesn't hurt so much, at least until it heal enough!
Same concept!
After being cut or burned, you will always have that little fear of it. Now you know how it feels so then you are more careful and when it does happen you stay way and heal your wound.
Same concept!
When that trust is lost in a relationship, it's a big deal. Especially for the betrayed. It's is so easy to say I'm sorry but it sure is damn hard to say that you forgive, and actually know how. That's why we hurt so much when something is done to us. If you knew certain things, forgiving would be so much easier.
There was a quote I had read the other day that was something like: I'm not mad that you lied, I mad that I can't trust you anymore.
It's true! This is such a great way to word it. It's not about the lie or deception, it's about the consequence that is what is hard to deal with. Like I said in an earlier blog, you can't take the wrinkles out of a crumpled piece of paper.
You can't undo all the mistake that are made id any type of relationship. The will always be there forever, no matter how much you try to cover it up...it has been compromised!
The good news is, for the betrayer you can learn from your error and never do it again, and for the betrayed you can learn to forgive in such a way that you won't hurt every time you are reminded of what happened.
I will discuss just how to do that in my next blog!
Thought for the day:
Forgiveness. You can't spell it without the word "give", so if you want it...you are going to have to "give" a little more on your part. If you are the forgiver, you are going to have to "give" yourself time to heal!!
As Always
Dr. Nobody
It can be both helpful and on the other hand it can be harmful to yourself and your relationships. So it is something that you have to analyze for yourself. Depends on the situation and what was "forgiven"
If you are stuck on old stuff that hurts when you remember it, you need to get over it. There is no such thing as "forgive & forget" so don't try. But you can forgive!
The act of forgiveness is easy. It's the pain of deception, betrayal and your own weakness that is hard to get over.
We tend to think that when we forgive that we have to go right back to how things where. That's the first mistake. Nothing will ever be the same. You can't take the wrinkles out of a crumpled piece of paper. Try it if you don't believe me!
The other mistake is that after an issue happens that requires forgiveness, the betrayed and the betrayer are not given time to recover.
The betrayer needs to be truly sorry for his/her actions that led to the hurt. You can't just say sorry because you don't want to loose that relationship. You need to accept the responsibility for what you have done no matter the degree of hurt that was done. Know that you have just lost something very dear to any relationship. Besides asking for forgiveness( if you even are sorry), you need to for give yourself. That doesn't mean that just because you forgive yourself, that everything goes back to normal. Chances are that the one who said they forgive, doesn't know the true meaning of forgiveness.
The betrayed need to realize that you don't have to try to make things they were before. They won't be no matter how hard you try to let it be and how hard the betrayer tries to regain what was lost. You need to forgive, but with that you need to give yourself time to heal and get over whatever was done. If you don't distance yourself from that person for a bit, you never let that wound heal. You are just putting a band aid over it.
What happens when you get burned? You stay away form the stove for a while, don't you! You might even take showers with water a little cooler just so that burn doesn't hurt so much, at least until it heal enough!
Same concept!
After being cut or burned, you will always have that little fear of it. Now you know how it feels so then you are more careful and when it does happen you stay way and heal your wound.
Same concept!
When that trust is lost in a relationship, it's a big deal. Especially for the betrayed. It's is so easy to say I'm sorry but it sure is damn hard to say that you forgive, and actually know how. That's why we hurt so much when something is done to us. If you knew certain things, forgiving would be so much easier.
There was a quote I had read the other day that was something like: I'm not mad that you lied, I mad that I can't trust you anymore.
It's true! This is such a great way to word it. It's not about the lie or deception, it's about the consequence that is what is hard to deal with. Like I said in an earlier blog, you can't take the wrinkles out of a crumpled piece of paper.
You can't undo all the mistake that are made id any type of relationship. The will always be there forever, no matter how much you try to cover it up...it has been compromised!
The good news is, for the betrayer you can learn from your error and never do it again, and for the betrayed you can learn to forgive in such a way that you won't hurt every time you are reminded of what happened.
I will discuss just how to do that in my next blog!
Thought for the day:
Forgiveness. You can't spell it without the word "give", so if you want it...you are going to have to "give" a little more on your part. If you are the forgiver, you are going to have to "give" yourself time to heal!!
As Always
Dr. Nobody
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
#1 Way to Help Your Depression
Fix your relationship with God. He's known you since before you where born, don't you think that if He has known you for that long, He could probably offer you some help?! No one else knows you better.
You started off knowing Him. You used to marvel at His works. Remember? As a child your eyes would glow with wonder and curiosity just exploring this world. Learning about everything around you and seeing all the wonderful things. Touching a flower, looking at a rainbow, playing in the grass, staring at animals in amazement.
All those feelings and smiles was God's love showing you Himself. That is how He surrounds His love for you, by giving you all the beauty of creation, and when you acknowledged that as a child you were filled with joy, true happiness!
Am I right or am I right?
All you have to do is remember! As a child you lived so carefree! The best part is that you can be like that again. God is all around you, stop looking past it all.
You cannot survive this world without Him. He wants you and we need Him.
Maybe you thought you don't need Him, or worse, you though He has abandoned you. Now that's a thought you should be ashamed of! He would never do such a thing. He created you, why would He leave you? We started out happy, and somewhere along the line when we started using thoughts and emotions, we messed up.
Maybe it was the way you were raised, or something terrible happened to you. If that is the case, then know you know so what are you going to do about it? Remember. Go back to remembering those little things as a child that did make you happy. No matter if it was dirt! If you ate dirt as a child or loved to play in it, then that's the feeling that you need to go back to!
I'm not saying go eat a spoon full of dirt!!
Find out why or when you stopped loving the world around you and start there. If you can't, then find a child to learn from. They will show you just how wonderful and carefree life can be. You can do it!
Once you start appreciating all the wonders God has surrounded you with, you will start to feel that much closer to Him. Why do you think that every long now and then that you do notice the blue skies or that star filled night, all the sudden you take a deep breath? You even smelled the air as it fills your body and for that moment you feel alive! Could it be...God reminding you that you are alive and that He's here?!
Read the Bible, He wrote it for you! You will be surprised to find out that you do have a purpose. He has a plan and you are part of that. Especially that He wants to be your friend!
Thought for the day:
God has not left your side....you stopped smelling the roses.
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Fix your relationship with God. He's known you since before you where born, don't you think that if He has known you for that long, He could probably offer you some help?! No one else knows you better.
You started off knowing Him. You used to marvel at His works. Remember? As a child your eyes would glow with wonder and curiosity just exploring this world. Learning about everything around you and seeing all the wonderful things. Touching a flower, looking at a rainbow, playing in the grass, staring at animals in amazement.
All those feelings and smiles was God's love showing you Himself. That is how He surrounds His love for you, by giving you all the beauty of creation, and when you acknowledged that as a child you were filled with joy, true happiness!
Am I right or am I right?
All you have to do is remember! As a child you lived so carefree! The best part is that you can be like that again. God is all around you, stop looking past it all.
You cannot survive this world without Him. He wants you and we need Him.
Maybe you thought you don't need Him, or worse, you though He has abandoned you. Now that's a thought you should be ashamed of! He would never do such a thing. He created you, why would He leave you? We started out happy, and somewhere along the line when we started using thoughts and emotions, we messed up.
Maybe it was the way you were raised, or something terrible happened to you. If that is the case, then know you know so what are you going to do about it? Remember. Go back to remembering those little things as a child that did make you happy. No matter if it was dirt! If you ate dirt as a child or loved to play in it, then that's the feeling that you need to go back to!
I'm not saying go eat a spoon full of dirt!!
Find out why or when you stopped loving the world around you and start there. If you can't, then find a child to learn from. They will show you just how wonderful and carefree life can be. You can do it!
Once you start appreciating all the wonders God has surrounded you with, you will start to feel that much closer to Him. Why do you think that every long now and then that you do notice the blue skies or that star filled night, all the sudden you take a deep breath? You even smelled the air as it fills your body and for that moment you feel alive! Could it be...God reminding you that you are alive and that He's here?!
Read the Bible, He wrote it for you! You will be surprised to find out that you do have a purpose. He has a plan and you are part of that. Especially that He wants to be your friend!
Thought for the day:
God has not left your side....you stopped smelling the roses.
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Is suicide selfish?
Yes and no. There are two reasons why a person would commit suicide: Depression and Regret/fear of facing the consequences of actions.
For the one who commits horrible crimes and they kill themselves, it's because the thought of judgment and punishment is too great so they would rather not go through it. That IS selfish.
For the one who is suffering from Depression, my heart goes out to those who never found the way! I truly believe that they did not have to die. For every time I hear a report on someone who killed themselves because of a history of depression( even if that lead them to drug or alcohol abuse), it really does sadden my day.
I always think to myself, if only I could have talked to that person. Just maybe I could have said something that would've changed their mind at that moment! If anything, at least stall so that I can give them some insight on how I have been able to survive without medication. How I have lived through the hours of pain and suffering while Death watched. How I have gotten over some of the most twisted thoughts ever and have overcome them. How I have won every match of rock-paper-scissors with Death and am so willing to share my secret to victory. If only I could have talked to them!
For those on medication, that's fine, but I know you can slowly get off them and do what I have been able to do. Now I'm not recommending that you take yourselves off them but I recommend that you make it your goal to get to that point! And for those who are facing Death right now this very moment, I beg you to write me! I will hear you, I will understand you, I will not judge you, I will be your friend!
Thought for the day:
Your life is worth living, if you leave, there will never be another one of you again...you're irreplaceable!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Monday, December 23, 2013
Why hello there beautiful people!!
I was just talking to someone about how us depressed people start to withdraw from others when we are in one of our lows. I think it is interesting how others just expect us to snap out of it!
Personally when I'm not feeling it, I just don't do it. Whether it's appearing in a public place, doing something you normally would, or even everyday things that need to be done. It's like expecting a pregnant lady who is grossed out by a certain scent and asking her to be around that smell!
It's ridiculous so don't ask, she will smell what she see fit and I will go or do what and when I see fit. The end.
It's one thing to be encouraging but it's another to be pushy and insensitive.
In my lows, I won't go to church, I turn down invitations to family events, watch the laundry pile up and procrastinate on everything. I can't tell you why, I'm not even sure why. Sometimes I can be caught in a daze, just staring at stuff and thinking of totally off the wall things. I'll glance at the kitchen and the next thing I know the dirty dishes are staring at me!! I'll have a few thought's about them and in my head thinking of how much I hate doing dishes. Instead of washing them, I find something else to do but that has to do with self improvement, in order that I may fix my mood so that I can wash those damn dishes.
Most the time I go around like Scarlet O'Hara telling myself "Oh, I'm not going to think about that now....I'll think about that tomorrow!", wipe my tears and turn around!
My point is, if you are abnormally un-sick: Just understand that when we don't want to then, we don't want to. No need to waste your words. Invite us and once we've said no thank you, leave it at that, please!
For us, the brotherhood of the mental ones: Don't feel bad if you're not up to doing stuff, just be aware of your mental state and try to keep yourself level so that if you know you are falling deeper you can ask for help. You don't want to completely seclude yourself. We still need a hand every now and then!
Thought for the day:
Don't feel bad when you can't explain why you feel the way you do or why you don't do what you should, but when you do do something, do it because you want to and that's all the reason you'll need!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
I was just talking to someone about how us depressed people start to withdraw from others when we are in one of our lows. I think it is interesting how others just expect us to snap out of it!
Personally when I'm not feeling it, I just don't do it. Whether it's appearing in a public place, doing something you normally would, or even everyday things that need to be done. It's like expecting a pregnant lady who is grossed out by a certain scent and asking her to be around that smell!
It's ridiculous so don't ask, she will smell what she see fit and I will go or do what and when I see fit. The end.
It's one thing to be encouraging but it's another to be pushy and insensitive.
In my lows, I won't go to church, I turn down invitations to family events, watch the laundry pile up and procrastinate on everything. I can't tell you why, I'm not even sure why. Sometimes I can be caught in a daze, just staring at stuff and thinking of totally off the wall things. I'll glance at the kitchen and the next thing I know the dirty dishes are staring at me!! I'll have a few thought's about them and in my head thinking of how much I hate doing dishes. Instead of washing them, I find something else to do but that has to do with self improvement, in order that I may fix my mood so that I can wash those damn dishes.
Most the time I go around like Scarlet O'Hara telling myself "Oh, I'm not going to think about that now....I'll think about that tomorrow!", wipe my tears and turn around!
My point is, if you are abnormally un-sick: Just understand that when we don't want to then, we don't want to. No need to waste your words. Invite us and once we've said no thank you, leave it at that, please!
For us, the brotherhood of the mental ones: Don't feel bad if you're not up to doing stuff, just be aware of your mental state and try to keep yourself level so that if you know you are falling deeper you can ask for help. You don't want to completely seclude yourself. We still need a hand every now and then!
Thought for the day:
Don't feel bad when you can't explain why you feel the way you do or why you don't do what you should, but when you do do something, do it because you want to and that's all the reason you'll need!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Depressed Teenagers
I was one of those. Being that I was, I had no connection with anything else. I didn't attach myself to things or objects. That made it really hard for my parents to ground me because there was nothing I valued that they could use against me!
If you are a parent and you find yourself in this position let me help you! First of all when you talk to your child, stop saying "you", because the moment you start saying that, I'm feeling attacked. Also give your child credit for the could choices he or she has made, don't ever say it was because of the way you raised them.
This happened to me once, my Father said that he was glad that I wasn't one of those kids who's out walking all over the place with their friends, getting into trouble and doing bad things. I told him that he had nothing to do with the fact that I wasn't doing stuff like that, that thanks to my choices I wasn't. I chose not to do those things behind his back.
I was always asked to go out to parties to drink and "get high", yet I always said no. I said no. Not because my parents voice was in the back of my head, not be obedient(I was actually quite the rebel), but because I had no interest in doing those things. So I deserved credit for my making those better choices.
Give your child credit for the better choices they DO make! Any time a person, young or old, makes a choice...always give credit to them! Since you can't make someone do something, You don't get the credit. Don't be a hypocrite. Sure, when someone does something that results in good, you're all over that...but the moment they screw up: "I can't believe you did that!" " Why would you go and do a thing like that?" "Well that was dumb!" Am I right or am I right! So what did we learn today: If you made a beautiful and delicious cake....would you let anyone else take the credit for it??....That's what I thought.
I was one of those. Being that I was, I had no connection with anything else. I didn't attach myself to things or objects. That made it really hard for my parents to ground me because there was nothing I valued that they could use against me!
If you are a parent and you find yourself in this position let me help you! First of all when you talk to your child, stop saying "you", because the moment you start saying that, I'm feeling attacked. Also give your child credit for the could choices he or she has made, don't ever say it was because of the way you raised them.
This happened to me once, my Father said that he was glad that I wasn't one of those kids who's out walking all over the place with their friends, getting into trouble and doing bad things. I told him that he had nothing to do with the fact that I wasn't doing stuff like that, that thanks to my choices I wasn't. I chose not to do those things behind his back.
I was always asked to go out to parties to drink and "get high", yet I always said no. I said no. Not because my parents voice was in the back of my head, not be obedient(I was actually quite the rebel), but because I had no interest in doing those things. So I deserved credit for my making those better choices.
Give your child credit for the better choices they DO make! Any time a person, young or old, makes a choice...always give credit to them! Since you can't make someone do something, You don't get the credit. Don't be a hypocrite. Sure, when someone does something that results in good, you're all over that...but the moment they screw up: "I can't believe you did that!" " Why would you go and do a thing like that?" "Well that was dumb!" Am I right or am I right! So what did we learn today: If you made a beautiful and delicious cake....would you let anyone else take the credit for it??....That's what I thought.
Why do Depressed people say they feel alone when I have told them I am here for them?
When someone is depressed, that Depression will never go away. They will have times that they are just fine and are happy to a degree. However, when they are having their "low" days, they are in a world that consists of only him/her and his/her mind. It's a surreal place, almost out of body like.
That is why you can't seem to get through to us. Why we feel lonely, even though we know you are there it's as if you are standing on the other side of the Grand Canyon were you are no use to me, who is here and needs help!
I knew I had my family and that I wasn't alone, but when I was throat deep in Depression, there was no one. I know that no one could help me when I was in that mental and emotional state, hence I was alone.
Somehow deep within me I knew that they couldn't help, that they didn't have the answers. Once I found that out, I also found out that the answers were in me! Before I knew that though, we blame everything on those around us. That then makes us feel let down by the people who supposedly say they are here for us. And a Depressed person can go around for years blaming and feeling betrayed, but forgive them, they haven't found out yet that they are the key!
So when you ask that person how you can help and they give you some smart ass remark...they know deep within themselves that you can't help, but they also aren't aware that they are the answer!
Thought for the day:
You have the solution to all your problems, they are locked up deep inside you (in fact they are causing you problems in hopes that you will let them out so they can do their job)!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
You know, I truly believe that no one has to die of suicide. A very good friend of mine died of suicide and supposedly I was the last person to talk to him. On the phone I had a feeling he was lying when I asked how he was doing. My instinct was right. To this day a part of me feels at fault. Had I called him out on it, I could have talked to him and maybe just one word of what I could have said might have stopped him from taking his life!
Speak up! If you have a gut feeling that a friend or relative is not okay, invade their life for the day. You might just be what keeps them alive!
What has this world come to? Why are we so depressed? Why have we forgotten what makes us happy? We have lost ourselves in our own selfishness and as a result are not happy and then blame it on every one else. Why is it that we can be so self involved, self motivated, just plain selfish but when the shit hits the fan all the sudden it's about what he or she did to you.
How wonderful it feels to give. To fill someone else with hope and kindness. This is very beneficial for the Depressed too! Being depresses we might feel like we have nothing to offer, but really we do, so go out and help someone! Don't make it about you, make it about someone else for a change. You will feel better, I promise. Go buy a homeless person a meal, a pair of gloves and a hat. Go read a story to kids in a shelter. Go to a senior living home and ask one of them to tell you a story and watch their eyes glow as they recall those precious memories.
Helping someone not only benefits the other person but you too. Your self esteem will grow just that much. You never know how much it will mean to that person what you did for them. Even if you don't feel like it because you are in one of your "lows", do it anyway, someone out there needs YOU, and you will be surprised to find out that it's just what you needed too!!
Thought for the day:
If you are going to make everything be about YOU, then when things get tough, don't forget You are why! When You learn to take responsibility for everything involving YOU, You become great!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Hey All! Please excuse my absence, I have been sick. I'm sure glad to be back though, there is always so much to say about Depression.
In my last post, I said I would explain why Depression is worse than Cancer. I risk being seriously judged for a comment on that, however, I hope that my readers are open minded and read my reasoning on the subject. You might find that you end up agreeing with me!
Although I have not suffered from Cancer, from what I have seen, heard and learned about it, it is a horrible disease. And I think the saddest thing about it is that it can start at such young ages, babies even!
The death rate for Cancer patients is higher than that of Depression sufferers, however, Depression is starting to take over the U.S, whereas Cancer death rates are actually decreasing. Also more people die of suicide than by motor accidents!
Were my argument for the comparison is, is that Depression is a war within yourself.
Cancer is a health issue, you have no control over whether you have Cancer or not. Your survival depends on your bodies response to treatment and medicine. You thinking "happy thoughts" is not going to be the key to your survival. You happen to be the host and unfortunately have to endure that battle between your own bodies health.
A depressed person is almost the opposite. We have to fight a war that is in our minds and our hearts. Physically our bodies are generally healthy unless we have symptoms of self mutilation, drug abuse, insomnia and a handful of other symptoms that come as a result of having Depression. Depression is sickness that does depend on us thinking "happy thoughts", our lives depend on our very own efforts do change our thoughts and feelings. Imagine if Cancer only depending on that! Then no one would die of Caner if that was the case!
It's not that simple. To change the way you think or what you believe is true, IS the most difficult thing you can ever do yourself and by yourself.
I have battled my brains out! Really, I have, and I know I am winning but look at how many years I have been suffering from Depression! Suicidal thoughts started for me at age 12.
Can you imagine actually thinking about killing your whole family? I have. Late at night when no one else was awake I was sitting in my room playing out a whole horror movie in my head about doing into each room and stabbing all my family members and then myself. Then a little while later I would come to my senses and realize what a horrible person I was for having such thoughts. That would then bring on overwhelming feelings of self hate so that I could punish myself for my thoughts. The suicidal thoughts stayed because now there was even more reason for me to die for being such a bad person.
I really did love my family, I didn't really want to hurt them. Much less end their lives. I had to find ways to confront those thoughts and conquer them. In my last bout of Depression I pushed away my own kids. I had no patience for them nor did their cries for attention move me. I was heartless. Wanting to be in my arms, I turned them away. So I sent them away because I saw the horrible person I was becoming and tried to save them from see this monster.
For half a year I was at war with myself. I started drinking. Couldn't make up my mind of what I wanted. I cried every other day. Spent two of those month in bed.
So when I see a commercial of Cancer survivors and they say things like "I knew I could beat it!" "I fought Cancer and won!" "I refused to die, so here I am!"
My first thought is: That's great, but are you saying that all who have died had no will to live but you did so you lived? That's not true. No one wants to die except a depressed person and that's only because they have not found the power to conquer their own minds!
As Always
Dr. Nobody
In my last post, I said I would explain why Depression is worse than Cancer. I risk being seriously judged for a comment on that, however, I hope that my readers are open minded and read my reasoning on the subject. You might find that you end up agreeing with me!
Although I have not suffered from Cancer, from what I have seen, heard and learned about it, it is a horrible disease. And I think the saddest thing about it is that it can start at such young ages, babies even!
The death rate for Cancer patients is higher than that of Depression sufferers, however, Depression is starting to take over the U.S, whereas Cancer death rates are actually decreasing. Also more people die of suicide than by motor accidents!
Were my argument for the comparison is, is that Depression is a war within yourself.
Cancer is a health issue, you have no control over whether you have Cancer or not. Your survival depends on your bodies response to treatment and medicine. You thinking "happy thoughts" is not going to be the key to your survival. You happen to be the host and unfortunately have to endure that battle between your own bodies health.
A depressed person is almost the opposite. We have to fight a war that is in our minds and our hearts. Physically our bodies are generally healthy unless we have symptoms of self mutilation, drug abuse, insomnia and a handful of other symptoms that come as a result of having Depression. Depression is sickness that does depend on us thinking "happy thoughts", our lives depend on our very own efforts do change our thoughts and feelings. Imagine if Cancer only depending on that! Then no one would die of Caner if that was the case!
It's not that simple. To change the way you think or what you believe is true, IS the most difficult thing you can ever do yourself and by yourself.
I have battled my brains out! Really, I have, and I know I am winning but look at how many years I have been suffering from Depression! Suicidal thoughts started for me at age 12.
Can you imagine actually thinking about killing your whole family? I have. Late at night when no one else was awake I was sitting in my room playing out a whole horror movie in my head about doing into each room and stabbing all my family members and then myself. Then a little while later I would come to my senses and realize what a horrible person I was for having such thoughts. That would then bring on overwhelming feelings of self hate so that I could punish myself for my thoughts. The suicidal thoughts stayed because now there was even more reason for me to die for being such a bad person.
I really did love my family, I didn't really want to hurt them. Much less end their lives. I had to find ways to confront those thoughts and conquer them. In my last bout of Depression I pushed away my own kids. I had no patience for them nor did their cries for attention move me. I was heartless. Wanting to be in my arms, I turned them away. So I sent them away because I saw the horrible person I was becoming and tried to save them from see this monster.
For half a year I was at war with myself. I started drinking. Couldn't make up my mind of what I wanted. I cried every other day. Spent two of those month in bed.
So when I see a commercial of Cancer survivors and they say things like "I knew I could beat it!" "I fought Cancer and won!" "I refused to die, so here I am!"
My first thought is: That's great, but are you saying that all who have died had no will to live but you did so you lived? That's not true. No one wants to die except a depressed person and that's only because they have not found the power to conquer their own minds!
As Always
Dr. Nobody
Friday, December 13, 2013
In regards to a comment posted:
When a family member has Depression, it is like any other disease and sickness, it's has an impact and all who are associated with that person. Not all will understand it, but when you are that close to a person who is depressed, you get a reality check!
Some still won't be able to comprehend it. The most common reaction or judgment is "They just want attention!"
To a very small degree, and I mean teensy tiny degree, that can be true. In that case it is usually the person who openly tells others they want to kill themselves or disclose other dark thoughts or tendencies, that usually is the person who is crying out for help.
It would be the person who is silent who you really need to worry about. This person might have confessed to having suicidal thoughts, but only after a lot of coaxing did they admit to it and probably with a lot of shame. Even not being able to look you in the eyes while saying so.
Silent but deadly.
The majority of person who do commit suicide will have family and friends who had no idea that they were even sad.
And yes, so many people can go years and even decades of showing no symtoms of Depression at all. They most likely had no idea either. Honestly I myself would have a sad thought or what can be called "dark" thoughts, and I would ignore it and see it as though I was just upset for something else. So I would justify it to the regular problems a teen has.
It wasn't until those "dark" thoughts became a regular way of thinking for me that I realized that I was not normal. I knew something was wrong but had no idea why or what it was that was making me this way. About two years after I knew I had a problem, TV commercials were just starting to come out about Depression. Just from those commercials was I able to tell myself: "See, it's real, I'm not crazy!" "I feel like what they just described!!!"
I then diagnosed myself, and because of it I instantly felt better. I could then know that I wasn't some sick insane person! So just knowing that there was a name that could explain why I feeling this way gave me a ray of hope!
Just like any sickness/disease a person suffers, there may or may not be a cure but there are things the sufferer and supporters can do to ease the symptoms and help with prevention. Similar to a cold, you will get one in your life time but you can help prevent them by regular hand washing, improving immune health, and extra immune boosters when you do have a cold to cut it short. The concept is the same for those with depression.
The support of family and friends is vital to the wellbeing of a sufferer. Kudos to those who do and have done their best to understand Depression in order to help their loved one. You are doing great, don't give up. I know it's hard to deal with so imagine how the sufferer feels!!
You wouldn't abandon or ignore a Cancer sufferer would you, oh no, that would be heartless.......well, Depression is worse than Cancer!!!
(I will tell you why in my next blog!)
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
"It's all in your head!"
Guess what...that's true! No, I'm not saying you are crazy.
What I am saying is that you need to realize that every time you start feeling blue, it's because you had a thought, that triggered an emotion, that changes your attitude, that changes your whole day!
It all comes down to a thought. A stupid little thought. No matter if it was one that just invaded your mind or you know you were thinking of. It's not like you want to have those dark thoughts. Who wants to thinks of death or other unpleasant things?
The solution is not just to stop thinking of those things, most of these thoughts are involuntary. Your head is racing with too many thoughts to count. At times it feels like there are one million things going on in there and you just want them to stop!
What is a thought anyway? You can't see it! You can't eat or smell it! You can't even hold it!! So why let it have such a negative hold over you!
There is help though. You might not be able to stop those thoughts from flooding your brain, but you sure damn well can stop it from ruining your day! You have the choice to dismiss that thought, so You don't dwell on it and You have the power to stay unaffected by it.
Look at it this way:
Just like when you are watching your favorite show and that dumb commercial comes on, you change the channel or even get up to do something while it's on just so you don't have to see or hear it. Right! Well just like you dismiss that annoying commercial, dismiss that thought.
Train your brain to ignore it as soon as it pops up in your head. A thought is only as important as you make it. So what are you waiting for....make it mean nothing!
Thought for the day:
Make those thoughts mean nothing, then you will have NOTHING to be sad about.
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Guess what...that's true! No, I'm not saying you are crazy.
What I am saying is that you need to realize that every time you start feeling blue, it's because you had a thought, that triggered an emotion, that changes your attitude, that changes your whole day!
It all comes down to a thought. A stupid little thought. No matter if it was one that just invaded your mind or you know you were thinking of. It's not like you want to have those dark thoughts. Who wants to thinks of death or other unpleasant things?
The solution is not just to stop thinking of those things, most of these thoughts are involuntary. Your head is racing with too many thoughts to count. At times it feels like there are one million things going on in there and you just want them to stop!
What is a thought anyway? You can't see it! You can't eat or smell it! You can't even hold it!! So why let it have such a negative hold over you!
There is help though. You might not be able to stop those thoughts from flooding your brain, but you sure damn well can stop it from ruining your day! You have the choice to dismiss that thought, so You don't dwell on it and You have the power to stay unaffected by it.
Look at it this way:
Just like when you are watching your favorite show and that dumb commercial comes on, you change the channel or even get up to do something while it's on just so you don't have to see or hear it. Right! Well just like you dismiss that annoying commercial, dismiss that thought.
Train your brain to ignore it as soon as it pops up in your head. A thought is only as important as you make it. So what are you waiting for....make it mean nothing!
Thought for the day:
Make those thoughts mean nothing, then you will have NOTHING to be sad about.
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Thursday, December 12, 2013
From my own experience, just when I felt all happy-go-lucky, next thing I knew my skies just turned gray again. I could really go a whole half a year with no episode and then....BOOM! It could be something someone said, a minute of some show I paused on while flipping channels, or just the news. It only takes one word or one action to trigger a horrible memory that takes you back to a horrible place!
The bright side is that it only lasts for a while. I say while because I have yet to meet a person who is depressed every day forever!
That is exactly it, here is one of the keys to taking hold of Your depression. You need to come to realize and accept the fact that it's only for a while. Even if right now you are depressed, you have had those minutes, hours, days or weeks of being just fine. When you are in those moments you need to make them longer. Take advantage of being in all your senses to learn new methods of coping, healing and prevention.
Before you know it, those minutes of light turn into hours, those hours into a day, that day into a few days until you will see that you have been okay for that much longer than the last episode! That will make all the difference and that's how You take control of Depression!
Thought for the day:
It's okay if you only have one good day every now and then, but remember that today's world measures that in 24 hours and God measures that by every 1000 years, so you decide how long your "one good day" is going to last!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Good morning! Hope all is well, if not, guess what...I'm here for you!! You might be thinking "So what, who are you?"
Well let me tell you why we are valuable to each other. Having had my first bouts of depression as a tween, I have been suffering from it for over 15 years. So I know exactly what you are going through! My having Depression too and having found things that work and that keep those rainy storms at bay, I can help you do the same, and I'm sure you can tell me a few things I don't know. Hence, we help each other!
There is no cure for Depression. Sorry to break it to you. You can use medication(Band aids for Depression), or you can spend your big bucks on some know it at who studied Psychology so he/she can "help" people. Stop wasting your time and money. I'm not saying that talking to someone or sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone is useless, I'm saying that unless your Councilor, Therapist, Psychologist, or what ever other fancy name he/she gives himself. That's just like when you suffer a great loss, a spouse or even a child of your passes and someone will say..."I know how you feel". No they don't, maybe they have lost a loved one but it could have been a relative or a pet. Loosing a spouse or a child has no comparison. And until they have lost one of those, they don't know how you feel! Same thing for Depression, unless the one giving you advice, mentoring, or "helping" you has gone through this crap themselves, they are wasting their time and more importantly yours!!
So, this all brings me back to the reason for my post: I AM here for you!
Well let me tell you why we are valuable to each other. Having had my first bouts of depression as a tween, I have been suffering from it for over 15 years. So I know exactly what you are going through! My having Depression too and having found things that work and that keep those rainy storms at bay, I can help you do the same, and I'm sure you can tell me a few things I don't know. Hence, we help each other!
There is no cure for Depression. Sorry to break it to you. You can use medication(Band aids for Depression), or you can spend your big bucks on some know it at who studied Psychology so he/she can "help" people. Stop wasting your time and money. I'm not saying that talking to someone or sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone is useless, I'm saying that unless your Councilor, Therapist, Psychologist, or what ever other fancy name he/she gives himself. That's just like when you suffer a great loss, a spouse or even a child of your passes and someone will say..."I know how you feel". No they don't, maybe they have lost a loved one but it could have been a relative or a pet. Loosing a spouse or a child has no comparison. And until they have lost one of those, they don't know how you feel! Same thing for Depression, unless the one giving you advice, mentoring, or "helping" you has gone through this crap themselves, they are wasting their time and more importantly yours!!
So, this all brings me back to the reason for my post: I AM here for you!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Quick Intro:
Hey there! I'm Dr. Nobody, your very own personal expert on the big "D"....Depression! Everything you need to know or just want to know about Depression, you will find right here in my blog. If you suffer from Depression, you will want to follow this blog. If you know someone dear to you, you should follow this blog. If you think there is no such thing as Depression, you will NEED to follow this blog.
It has come to my attention that there is a need for more support for those who suffer from Depression. From personal experience, I intend on putting myself out there just to let you know that you are not alone and that, yes, I have those thoughts too! No, nothing is wrong with you. Yes, you will be okay. No, you are not a bad person for thinking that. And yes, I am for real!!
Thought for the day:
Today is worth living for the simple reason that you woke up(hint hint)!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
Hey there! I'm Dr. Nobody, your very own personal expert on the big "D"....Depression! Everything you need to know or just want to know about Depression, you will find right here in my blog. If you suffer from Depression, you will want to follow this blog. If you know someone dear to you, you should follow this blog. If you think there is no such thing as Depression, you will NEED to follow this blog.
It has come to my attention that there is a need for more support for those who suffer from Depression. From personal experience, I intend on putting myself out there just to let you know that you are not alone and that, yes, I have those thoughts too! No, nothing is wrong with you. Yes, you will be okay. No, you are not a bad person for thinking that. And yes, I am for real!!
Thought for the day:
Today is worth living for the simple reason that you woke up(hint hint)!
Truly Yours
Dr. Nobody
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